Sunday, January 15, 2006

'But That Green Dress Left Its Mark'

I can take a few hits now and then. I can take a few bruises to my emotions, and it’s okay with me. It’s funny, because it’s like I want to be ‘with’ someone, with this one person, and I don’t. But I’m not forcing any of my smiles. I’m not going to cry over feeling as if I have to be fake or insincere, because I don’t feel like that. I’m having such a great experience; I’m having such a time relying on myself. That said, I still wanted some drastic actions with him last night, but I’m not going to act on it. The lips weren’t mine, and gosh, I know I wouldn’t have wanted that. I don’t like that you’re unpredictable.
I’ve been hugging a lot of people lately. I’ll probably catch a cold, but I’m okay with it. I’ve got a lot to say, and I’ll say it, just not all at once. Well, I take that back. I probably won’t be saying it all. But that’s not what gets me.
It’s pretty humbling to know that people want to give me a hug. I like those people. I like being hugged and being alone. And ‘alone’ sounds so negative and tragic, but it hasn’t been for me. I’m not lonely. I don’t want any kind of significant other, and I’m trying to convince my animal instincts into this as well.
I’m just that kind of girl. I’m gold; I’m a cubic zirconium; I’m platinum, I didn’t know what that meant. I’m just Sarah, and I’m not your girlfriend.
But I wanted to be for a while.
I think you knew this, found this out, caught on, but your ego has been amazing and I don’t want you to give yourself credit for this.
I’m not going to bruise your ego though either.
There you go.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home