Until You Fall Asleep

I never meant to miis it
I guess I just never "got it"
I didn't know what you wanted to hear
But maybe it's just me
....I would like to say
{and I mean it so honestly}
that everything I said and did
wasn't just me being decieving
{wow, I'm a bit rusty}
And perhaps someday
You'll let me in again
....it isn't my place to say
And the miles that have always separated us
...
It's..just..


Remember those times?
How could you ask if I cared?
How could you even wonder?
I won't ask anything of you
I'm trying real hard
the flashes
of color
in black and white
the hat you wore once (a lot)
my drawn picture
the writings we wrote for each other
the friend I had
I know I said I wouldn't ask
but will you stay?
Are you going to leave?
And if you did, I'd nothing but understand.
I fear the expression on your face.
I fear what it is you have to say .
These words might as well be shattered.
I can't think clearly
I cannot say what it is that matters.
And the problem two months ago arises now
I don't know what to say
ANd you may not even want to hear it
I still can understand what you're thinking
I used to be able to hear it
I know how scared you were
I know how much you wanted it to work







but I never did take everything to heart.
And I'll blame it on me being cynical.
It wasn't your fault that I was hurt.
It still isn't.
I didn't take what you said and value it for it's actual worth.
I apologize.
Only recently have I been coming around.
It was never your fault for what he did.
And you are the one whom I emotionally maimed.
And now I'm that girl that messed you up for a while.
I never wanted to be.
I'm sorry.




From what I've found, we've both found someone new. Someones who make us happy. Maybe someday we can be those crazy friends again.
Maybe someday we'll get over what happened to both of us, at any rate.

Catch you later.

Promise

Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in
because its cold outside cold outside its cold out side
share with me the secrets that you kept in
because its cold inside cold inside its cold inside

and your slowly shaking finger tips
show that your scared like me so
let's pretend were alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know we're unprepared
but I don’t care

tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
please don’t tell me that I am the only one that’s vulnerable
impossible

I was born to tell you I love you
in't that a song already?
I get a B in originality
and its true I cant go on without you
your smile makes me see clear
if you could only see in the mirror what I see

tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that your so sure
please don’t tell me that I am the only one that’s vulnerable
impossible

slow down *boy, you're not going any where
just wait around and see
maybe I am much more, you never know what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone, I can be anything
just because you were hurt doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bleed
I can be anyone anything I promise I can be what you need




--Secondhand Serenade

Marcie and Me at Graduation. I'm still all sad about it. Gawly...... 

Last day of school, sporting my busted lip with Brianne. Ahh, it's kinda sad.  

Adam and Me, some of the last pictures I've got from school.  

Kelly and me coming back from Austin, still.  

Oh, what I can do with Nico's hair. Still in Austin.  

Brianne, Adam, Me, Austin. Of course.  

Marcie and myself on the way back from Austin.  

Our trip to Austin 

Ahh, how we spent Prom Night. 

A little back-side action 

merry-go-round, tops the night off 

wd 

Brianne says 'get that shit off me, sucka'.  

Brianne. anti-prom. woo 

Midnight Sun

It wasn't the second line that got me most.
Nor the seventh.
It was your last line.
It was that one that made my throat tighten, burn.
Sorry for still speaking of it.
I'll try to make this my last.
Who knows.

Yesterday

Then there was a feeling of indifference and I stopped and I waited.
The day before I cried but this time it just didn't faze me the same way.
It wasn't ever the way I thought.
And I will be big enough to take the blame.
I will admit that I never knew it meant so much to you.
I never knew I meant so much.
And maybe I'm writing to dead space. I'm not going to call your bluff.
I wouldn't ever.
The words I have don't mean enough.
It baffled me.
I don't know why it's different today.
Yesterday, I didn't know how deep you went. I didn't understand.
Only yesterday did the realization come that you did care for me in such a way.
And you don't have to ask me not to call. I wouldn't.
I couldn't.
I don't know what tore it, but I never did patch us up.
I promise not to wave when I do see you.
Yesterday, the thought hurt.
Yesterday, I thought it all through.
I'll avoid everything you haven't said.
I'll avoid your name. The thoughts. The dreams. And then the memories.
The memories.
I can't say I will stop reading. I just won't.
Perhaps you'll stop writing writings I could be in on, at any rate.
But I'm going to keep on jumpbling the words in their
distorted song.
Maybe hope, but know you will not be reading along.
Yesterday, my heart sank.
Yesterday, my eyes did sting.
I don't know what happened today.
I suppose I'm okay with it.
I'm not.
I'll busy myself for a while. Yesterday, I swore I wouldn't get over the fact I let it all go.
Today, maybe something new will come.
Maybe not.
I have nothing but good to say about you.
Yesterday, it hurt.
Today, it does too.
THe only difference in today and yesterday is that today
I know what to do.



I can't listen to Dave Matthews anymore. You should probably know why.
Peace out

Cheers

Here's to you
you, the someone that I once knew