Until You Fall Asleep

I never meant to miis it
I guess I just never "got it"
I didn't know what you wanted to hear
But maybe it's just me
....I would like to say
{and I mean it so honestly}
that everything I said and did
wasn't just me being decieving
{wow, I'm a bit rusty}
And perhaps someday
You'll let me in again
....it isn't my place to say
And the miles that have always separated us
...
It's..just..


Remember those times?
How could you ask if I cared?
How could you even wonder?
I won't ask anything of you
I'm trying real hard
the flashes
of color
in black and white
the hat you wore once (a lot)
my drawn picture
the writings we wrote for each other
the friend I had
I know I said I wouldn't ask
but will you stay?
Are you going to leave?
And if you did, I'd nothing but understand.
I fear the expression on your face.
I fear what it is you have to say .
These words might as well be shattered.
I can't think clearly
I cannot say what it is that matters.
And the problem two months ago arises now
I don't know what to say
ANd you may not even want to hear it
I still can understand what you're thinking
I used to be able to hear it
I know how scared you were
I know how much you wanted it to work







but I never did take everything to heart.
And I'll blame it on me being cynical.
It wasn't your fault that I was hurt.
It still isn't.
I didn't take what you said and value it for it's actual worth.
I apologize.
Only recently have I been coming around.
It was never your fault for what he did.
And you are the one whom I emotionally maimed.
And now I'm that girl that messed you up for a while.
I never wanted to be.
I'm sorry.




From what I've found, we've both found someone new. Someones who make us happy. Maybe someday we can be those crazy friends again.
Maybe someday we'll get over what happened to both of us, at any rate.

Catch you later.