Yesterday

Then there was a feeling of indifference and I stopped and I waited.
The day before I cried but this time it just didn't faze me the same way.
It wasn't ever the way I thought.
And I will be big enough to take the blame.
I will admit that I never knew it meant so much to you.
I never knew I meant so much.
And maybe I'm writing to dead space. I'm not going to call your bluff.
I wouldn't ever.
The words I have don't mean enough.
It baffled me.
I don't know why it's different today.
Yesterday, I didn't know how deep you went. I didn't understand.
Only yesterday did the realization come that you did care for me in such a way.
And you don't have to ask me not to call. I wouldn't.
I couldn't.
I don't know what tore it, but I never did patch us up.
I promise not to wave when I do see you.
Yesterday, the thought hurt.
Yesterday, I thought it all through.
I'll avoid everything you haven't said.
I'll avoid your name. The thoughts. The dreams. And then the memories.
The memories.
I can't say I will stop reading. I just won't.
Perhaps you'll stop writing writings I could be in on, at any rate.
But I'm going to keep on jumpbling the words in their
distorted song.
Maybe hope, but know you will not be reading along.
Yesterday, my heart sank.
Yesterday, my eyes did sting.
I don't know what happened today.
I suppose I'm okay with it.
I'm not.
I'll busy myself for a while. Yesterday, I swore I wouldn't get over the fact I let it all go.
Today, maybe something new will come.
Maybe not.
I have nothing but good to say about you.
Yesterday, it hurt.
Today, it does too.
THe only difference in today and yesterday is that today
I know what to do.



I can't listen to Dave Matthews anymore. You should probably know why.
Peace out